Its been almost an year since I walked out of the campus of IIITM and suddenly I realized that I am a completely different person now. People now call me Ashutosh or Mr. Uniyal, I would have done anything to be addressed like this when I was in college but now I feel what kind of loser would do this to me. It feels like I am turning into some stranger who is living in a dark dungeon for no reason at all.
I used to believe in making choices and then dealing with consequences, although I never made a right choice in my life but still but now I have started compromising. My persistence of not compromising on work profile has finally met its end when I was about to be asked to resign and I got scared for no reason.
When I joined this company I was told that I am an asset for them but nobody cared when this same asset was depreciating and believe me the rate of depreciation was quite high. I don't know why do these big IT giants hire people when they don't have work for them in the first place. And it is after two and a half month of constant refusal that I joined the same project which was offered to me on the very first day.
when I look back it reminds me of how cheerful I used to be, laughing on everything and playing fool all the time but now everything has changed I don't laugh anymore I only smile that too forcefully so that the person talking to me does not feel bad.
Now let’s talk about money - the 35000 rupees that I receive every month just adds liquidity or I should say liquor to my life to make it even worse. The 3000 rupees food coupon that I get are used for purchasing cigarettes from the supermarket (at least I don't pay any tax on the money I spend on smoking).
I always believed that everything in my life should be spontaneous and there should not be any routine but now I know for sure that my life as entered into an infinite loop which will end with my sudden death due to lung cancer or liver failure.
58 comments:
change...............
welcome to this side of the world.. !!! just be as close as possible to ur college mates.. and u can fade away from the reality... !!!
oye pahari khachhar kya ho gaya tujhe heheheh.
See the thing is you should do something creative (saale ab bache create mat karne lag jaana). Mera matlab your energies are getting wasted and you are not alone, most of us feel the same, at least I do.My job involves running unix scripts , nothing more nothing less, that too not more than two a day.
U are bored with what you do at the job and when you are back home you drink and smoke and i get the feeling that u aren't happy with that too( which is good) So do something which makes you feel good.
May be all we bored IIITMians should open a company but ..
Seriously bhai kuch to karo
I am in for nething that involves screwing the god damn system
Aise nahin jeena tha yaar
I miss playing fool :( and of course miss all you losers out there
The same story repeats with every scape goat of IT
nyways nicely written
oye pagal ho gaya hai kya? ab samajh mein aya jab tu milne aya tha to itna ukhda kyun tha. be cheerful. evryone faces same problems..
Dear Ashutosh
Perhaps it is not in my position to say anything on the matter, as I am not yet exposed to this terrible and frightening thing called the "job". But this internship is making me really think about the future too.
I am led to believe now that Job satisfaction is as elusive as the famed red diamond on the forehead of the non existential heavenly elephant king.
What you should worry about, is not your lungs or liver! but your heart! for beware... the strain on the loving organ will be your doom!
Beware not, for we humans are great adapters, though you find your job dull and insipid, find yourself another portal through with you can be what you all are.
Believe in yourself. Resurgam - rise yourself again. For whatever is your condition now, that too shall pass.
Each of us thinks that our own life is worse than the others, while in reality, it is all relative.
Take care
@Johney
Both my Love and reproductive organs are in place so I am not worried about them but my brain.
And please try to speak in a language which we human can interpret.
And what on earth the non existential heavenly elephant king has to do anything with my situation and who the hell is he
I believe this vicious circle has to broken......n u need to gather yrself....n knwing u closely...u vil do it sooner than later....
saale uniyal mc ... kya ho gaya ... ek hafta bhi nahi hua mujhe gaye hue ... agar suicide-vuicide ka plan hai to bata dena bahi ... ticket advance mein kara longa ..... but on a serious note shit happens only when we start to THINK (contemplate) in life .... so either 'go with the flow' OR action positive changes .... baaki jyada bolte hue hum ache nahi lagenge
Since my childhood, I am not satisfied. I am a fool, who is always hungry. I don't know, why? There is another fact about me - "A Great Looser!"
My professional experience is even worse. In terms of business and trade, people become merciless and even forget the relationship.
May be I am wrong but what I have realized that there is no difference between professionals (impure human) and devils. Professionals are as mischievous as devil.
Reading this blog, I really found my eyes wet for few seconds.
What I learnt from my education that "Humanity and professionalism are subjected to same means. Unfortunately world has defined it in two different ways as well as contradictory to each other. --Alok Kumar"
The word profession is subjected to have faith but modern society has exploited it and now because of professionalism people have lost faith in humanity.
Ashutosh, you taught me to live with hopes in IIITM. Live with hopes, some day things would be good around you.
I would never forget the words of Einstein in my whole life - "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved through understanding."
Though I am a great looser of IIITM but I really miss my gems of IIITM.
take it easy.. don't let things be a burden.. hang on.. things will get better..
this is a common syndrome faced by many.. so u r not alone.. so just take it light and enjoy.. cheers..
sir ji .. kyu dara rahe hoo ...
Bonjour, babaenlightens.blogspot.com!
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