Its been almost an year since I walked out of the campus of IIITM and suddenly I realized that I am a completely different person now. People now call me Ashutosh or Mr. Uniyal, I would have done anything to be addressed like this when I was in college but now I feel what kind of loser would do this to me. It feels like I am turning into some stranger who is living in a dark dungeon for no reason at all.
I used to believe in making choices and then dealing with consequences, although I never made a right choice in my life but still but now I have started compromising. My persistence of not compromising on work profile has finally met its end when I was about to be asked to resign and I got scared for no reason.
When I joined this company I was told that I am an asset for them but nobody cared when this same asset was depreciating and believe me the rate of depreciation was quite high. I don't know why do these big IT giants hire people when they don't have work for them in the first place. And it is after two and a half month of constant refusal that I joined the same project which was offered to me on the very first day.
when I look back it reminds me of how cheerful I used to be, laughing on everything and playing fool all the time but now everything has changed I don't laugh anymore I only smile that too forcefully so that the person talking to me does not feel bad.
Now let’s talk about money - the 35000 rupees that I receive every month just adds liquidity or I should say liquor to my life to make it even worse. The 3000 rupees food coupon that I get are used for purchasing cigarettes from the supermarket (at least I don't pay any tax on the money I spend on smoking).
I always believed that everything in my life should be spontaneous and there should not be any routine but now I know for sure that my life as entered into an infinite loop which will end with my sudden death due to lung cancer or liver failure.
